I sometimes think that I may be a gay man stuck in a woman's body. Exhibit A: I've never met a gay man I didn't like. I think that is because inherently, they know I'm one of them. Exhibit B: I like men. Exihibit C: I am part producer, part writer and acting full time in a show called America's Next Top Bottom.
As you can probably guess, ANTB is a spoof of America's Next Top Model. You'd be right. When I tell straight people the title of the show, I usually get that look where they cock their head to the side and their eyes glaze over. I've had a few women tell me that they'd be a great fit a contestant in our show because they have well-endowed derrieres. Nice try, ladies...but this ain't that kinda show. If you're still among the confused, allow me to apply some logistics to the situation. There are two (possibly three) types of gay men: Tops, Bottoms and the laid back ones that will either top or bottom (though, I've heard these are merely men of folklore). For you old-school folk, we're talking about Pitchers and Catchers. Still confused? Go ask your mom. I don't have time to teach you these things.
I digress. Our show is a competition aimed at crowning America's (or at least Indy's) Next Top Bottom (that'd be the Catcher for you slow-pokes in the crowd). Audience members will squeal with delight at they watch Tyra Skanks (Jay Hemphill) and Janice Dicklessone (yours truly) battle it out to stay on Top (baddum bum chhhhh!), ten diversified and hilarious bottoms vie for the crown and perform a dance routine with special guest choreographer Little Richard Simmons. I can honestly say that I have never laughed so hard doing a show as I have during this one and I can't wait for it to open tomorrow night! If you have good bladder control and think you can handle the gay-ity, make your reservations at Theatre On The Square, 317-685-8687!
As you can probably guess, ANTB is a spoof of America's Next Top Model. You'd be right. When I tell straight people the title of the show, I usually get that look where they cock their head to the side and their eyes glaze over. I've had a few women tell me that they'd be a great fit a contestant in our show because they have well-endowed derrieres. Nice try, ladies...but this ain't that kinda show. If you're still among the confused, allow me to apply some logistics to the situation. There are two (possibly three) types of gay men: Tops, Bottoms and the laid back ones that will either top or bottom (though, I've heard these are merely men of folklore). For you old-school folk, we're talking about Pitchers and Catchers. Still confused? Go ask your mom. I don't have time to teach you these things.
I digress. Our show is a competition aimed at crowning America's (or at least Indy's) Next Top Bottom (that'd be the Catcher for you slow-pokes in the crowd). Audience members will squeal with delight at they watch Tyra Skanks (Jay Hemphill) and Janice Dicklessone (yours truly) battle it out to stay on Top (baddum bum chhhhh!), ten diversified and hilarious bottoms vie for the crown and perform a dance routine with special guest choreographer Little Richard Simmons. I can honestly say that I have never laughed so hard doing a show as I have during this one and I can't wait for it to open tomorrow night! If you have good bladder control and think you can handle the gay-ity, make your reservations at Theatre On The Square, 317-685-8687!
OMG Carrie this sounds hilarious! How long will this be playing? Did you write this as well? You are such a talent. I will try to be there for sure! Sounds like a hoot!
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