I have and infestation of bathroom gnomes. Once every two or seventeen months, I get the urge to scrub my bathroom top to bottom and organize all of my toiletry items that line my expansive bathroom counter. Then, without fail and in the balmy darkness of the night, the evil bathroom gnomes start infiltrating. Their favorite thing to do is wreak havoc on my countertop. They take lids off of things, leave make-up, Q-tips and accessories everywhere. When I say "bathroom gnomes", I mean me. I keep a messy bathroom, I'm not gonna lie. Actually, I'm a messy person in general, but my bathroom sloth is the one I take most pride in. The bathroom is where I create. An artist cannot be bothered with organization. At least that's my motto.

Getting to my point. Last night, I came home from an evening with friends, perhaps still a bit tipsy. Now, I've come to realize that the greatest revelations occur when you've had a few drinks and last night I had just such a revelation. Before I began washing my face and performing the pre-bed ritual, I needed a bobby pin. Just one bobby pin...

I like to make a game of finding bobby pins in my bathroom. It is one of my favorite things to do. If I were an organized person, this wouldn't be a fun game at all because I would know exactly where to find the bobby pins-all neatly stacked in a row on the manufacturer's card or in some tidy little plastic tote or a girly little basket...you get the idea. Well, fuck that. There is nothing that I love more than fishing for bobby pins in Lake Bathroom. It's much like hunting. Not that I've ever hunted, but I get the general idea of how it works. The hunter stalks it's prey, lurking in dark places, being all stealthy. Only, I don't hunt like that. I shove shit out of my way, throw things on the floor, over my shoulder. Land where it may, I'll not be stopped until I find that one, glorious little bobby pin. And never fail, I ALWAYS find one. They're everywhere. Like thousands of little fish in the sea. It's one thing in my life I can always depend on-I never lose at bobby pin fishing. Admittedly, I do promise myself that I will at least attempt to keep them neatly stacked on the little card they come on, but I don't even know why I bother trying. I think next time I'll just pull them all off the card as soon as I get it home, close my eyes and throw them up in the air. It's like restocking the pond...